


picking roses in a battlefield

by Tiara_of_Sapphires



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Babies, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Mutual Pining, Not Canon Compliant, Pre-Relationship, Pregnancy, RebelCaptain Appreciation Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 10:07:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18466765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiara_of_Sapphires/pseuds/Tiara_of_Sapphires
Summary: For the 2019 Rebelcaptain Appreciation Week! Prompts are at the beginning of each chapter :DPregnancy tw: Chapters 4 and 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt 1: Stardust

“What did you _do_ Cassian?”

He blinked when Jyn stormed up to him and Cassian mentally ran through all the things he had done that morning that would cause Jyn to give him such a look of both anger and panic.

Coming up blank, Cassian only could say, “Do what?”

“Draven just pulled me aside to tell me we are going on a mission to Coruscant together,” she hissed.

Oh, that.

Well, there were selfish reasons that he tried to keep hidden as to why he threw Jyn’s name into this particular mission. He tried to focus on the practical, which he explained to Jyn, who didn't look reassured at all.

Jyn didn't exist in the eyes of the Empire and Cassian had so many names that he could take a pick and side into the identity like a hand into a glove. They could get in, mingle, and leave.

When the reasoning stalled and Jyn gave him an expectant look, Cassian mumbled, “We work well together.”

That was an understatement. They and the other surviving members of the Rogue One crew worked like a well-oiled machine.

This would be just the two of them on this mission, along with a few auxiliary members from Intelligence in more background roles. Selfish reasons, though he tried to deny them.

“Did you say yes?” he asked.

Jyn paused, cheeks puffing out in a huff. “Well, of course I did.”

* * *

* * *

That conversation and many conversations in the war room brought them to a ritzy gala in the Coruscanti Financial District. This mission was right up Jareth Sward’s alley, since he was a war-profiteer with in-roads to Coruscant’s richest and it only made sense he would be at this party.

Jareth had been taking a sabbatical on Naboo, drinking and wooing the pretty creatures that were found both in the ritzy villas and the seedy alleyways.

A newcomer in the guest list was no less notable, albeit less flashy.

Tanith Ponta was a businesswoman, new money with recent success in superconductor manufacturing, reclusive and only going through secretaries and representatives in making business transactions.

The cover was iron-clad, built over the years by Rebellion spies for such a day like this.

Their mandate was simple: infiltrate the party, gather intel while a device in Cassian’s pocket broadcasted tiny bits of malware into nearby commlinks.

It was too risky to pull off a big heist or infiltrate the Empire’s biggest suppliers just yet. They just needed to set the stage for future events.

He would arrive first, from his shell penthouse. She would arrive almost on his heels, taking a taxi from her hotel room to the party.

Cassian lingered on the outskirts of the milling crowd. Smoke from expensive cigarettes floated in the air, mingling with the smell of perfumes. Booze and decadent food flowed freely from waiters’ trays to the partygoers’ hands.

It was cloying and extravagant and he hated every bit of the whole thing.

And then Jyn walked in, and he seriously wondered why they didn't do this more often.

She descended the stairs, tall and proud. The black dress was dotted with thousands of little points of glitter or gems, as if she had cut out a part of the evening sky to wear.

If he was a weaker man, if he wasn’t an expert spy, he would’ve cracked.

As she got closer, he saw that there were jeweled pins in her hair, a second galaxy joining the first.

She was beautiful.

“Mr. Sward.”

His mouth flapped uselessly before he steeled himself. It worked with the act, he told himself. His cover remained intact.

“My dear Tanith, you look radiant.” It was the truth, but he had to hide his true emotion under a veneer of entitled sleaze.

Jyn smiled demurely.

His eyes roamed over her greedily, lasciviously, for the sake of the people watching and expecting him to be a leery pig. It was too easy, because in his heart he was madly attracted to Jyn Erso and she dangled in front of him like a delicacy he could only look at and never actually touch.

“Care to dance?” Jyn asked.

Right, the plan. It would make an excuse to get them to the center of the room, where the signal broadcast could hit the most people.

Jyn held out her hand and he took it, letting her lead him to the space where other couples danced slowly to the orchestra playing in the corner.

He could touch her a little, one hand planted on her hip and cradling her hand in the other.

He wanted her and had since the moment they met. He wanted to sneak his hands under her dress. He wanted to bury his face into the crook of her neck, smelling her skin and the perfume that clung to the air around her.

It felt barbaric, like he would be tainting something so pure and far removed from him. He wanted to be hard, but gentle at the same time. He wanted to hold her in his arms, properly, hiding them from the vipers that surrounded them and would consume them if they let their act slip.

This was _entirely_ unfair.

“I didn't know you were such a good dancer,” Jyn murmured.

He felt the tips of his ears go uncomfortably hot.

“I can dance in other places, my dear.”

He internally winced while Jyn fought back a grin.

“I hope I can see them later.”

Always thinking on her feet. It was one of the many things he liked about her.

They swayed together to the rhythm of the music. Though her eyes shifted to the crowd around them, her gaze seemed to draw to his face more often than not.

He wondered what she saw in him, if she was just as attracted to him as he was to her.

“ _You truly are radiant._ ”

She blinked at him, fear glazing over her eyes for a brief moment. “What?”

He shook his head, trying to dispel what he had created with a smile. “Nothing.”

Fool, foolish man who fell in love with the starlight that fought by his side, reduced to confession in a language she couldn't understand.

“Nothing,” he repeated, as much to himself as it was to her.

He just counted himself lucky he could touch her without being burned.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt 2: Leap

He was avoiding her, that much was clear.

They had gotten too close to each other, drawn to each other like opposite poles of a magnet. Almost dying together on Scarif, surviving the suicide mission, drew them apart.

Or, drew him away from her, she thought glumly as she watched his retreating back, his refusal to sit with her and their comrades in the mess ringing dully in her ears.

Chirrut smiled, milky eyes fixed on hers. “Our Captain is full of conflict.”

“Full of himself, maybe,” Baze grumbled, “These officers all walk around with sticks up their—"

Bodhi cleared his throat and interjected, “Yes, well, I’m sure Cassian is a busy man.”

Jyn hummed, nodding at the worried glance Bodhi shot her.

Bodhi knew enough. Jyn had revealed to him the pain and desire, after a couple cups of cheap booze. He had patted her shoulder as she wallowed a little in her sorrow.

She told him about how she had felt, what had happened at the records tower. The climb, Krennic, and the elevator ride.

They were things that haunted her nightmares and blessed her dreams and she wanted to know that Cassian felt the same way.

Nearly dying on Scarif and the flight back and the recovering in med bay had brought the rest of them together. Their days had been filled with bandages and bacta and pain and they had a sense of humor about it.

Cassian had been quiet, isolated, in his little corner. He winced when Baze’s laugh boomed through the room.

The others left him alone, though Jyn’s eyes glanced often towards him, expectant that he would come to them, to her.

“I think—”

“That’s new.”

Bodhi snorted a laugh into his cup of water while Chirrut gave Baze a glare.

“I believe that our Captain is haunted by many things. Our battles have been long and arduous, but his goes on even when the blasters have stopped firing.”

Jyn chewed on the inside of her cheek. He was spy, killer, hero.

“What should I do?” she wondered aloud.

“Jump his bones,” Baze suggested, ignoring the elbow Chirrut threw into his side.

Jyn felt her cheeks heat up and she ducked into her food.

“You should talk to him.”

That seemed like the most obvious answer. But, how could she talk to someone who never stayed still when she was anywhere close to him.

She glanced out the window and stood up, taking her tray into her hands. “Fine. I can do that.”

“Wait, right now?” Bodhi asked, shocked that his advice would immediately be followed.

She turned in her used dishes and made her way into the barracks.

Cassian was an officer, so he got his own room. It felt scandalously private, that she was looking for him in his room. The Rebels loved gossip, one of the few luxuries allowed in a war, and this would be prime for the rumor mill if anyone saw and connected the dots between her and him. It wouldn’t be too far a reach.

There was also the chance she would be wallowing in front of his room because he had taken a detour to the comms tower or the shooting range.

Cassian unintentionally spared her that fate, walking from the opposite side of the hallway. His steps slowed as he got closer.

“Lieutenant Erso,” came the curt greeting.

That wasn’t a good sign. There wasn’t even a smile on his face.

“Cassian,” she replied.

The use of his name seemed to short-circuit his brain for a moment. She almost thought to call him K2.

“Is there something to require?”

‘Require’ was one way to put it. Word vomit rose in her throat, but she swallowed it back.

“I wanted to talk to you. It seems, to me, the dynamic between the two of us might affect us on the battlefield.”

He blinked at her, guilt flashing for a moment across his face before schooling to a blank.

“I don't see what you’re talking about.”

Frustration at his delicate avoidance of the topic grated on her nerves. “Come on, Cassian, really?”

“I treat you the same as I would anyone else.”

Jyn shook her head, stepping forward. “You don't talk to me outside of the war room. You avoid me like I have the plague. You won’t even—"

Her words stuttered for a beat, watching as his eyes had glazed, gazing just up and over her shoulder.

“Look at me.” The words were harsher and more snappish than she intended, but immediately Cassian’s eyes snapped to hers.

“I’m not avoiding you, Jyn.”

His eyes shift again. Liar.

“You talk to Bodhi and Baze and Chirrut. Hell, you talk to _Draven_ more than you talk to me.”

They both fell silent.

“After Scarif, I thought—"

“Thought what?” he asked.

Jyn opened her mouth and shut it again. What could she say?

She wanted to be friends, but she wanted more than that. She wanted, but she didn't know if Cassian wanted the same, even close to the same.

How could she know if she didn't ask? How could she even ask?

The answer to that seemed as simple as the one that brought her to this moment.

A leap of faith. Whether this worked or didn't, she would find out.

She stepped forward, encroaching on his space. Her hand came up and cupped the back of his neck, pulling him down towards her.

Their mouths met, close-lipped and dry and warm. Impersonal, but Jyn waded in it, grasped for that little moment before the rejection would inevitably come. It had to do. In this life, she couldn’t wait for the perfect time or to wade out the mood Cassian seemed to permanently wallow in.

Her heartbeat sounded so loud in her ears she was sure Cassian could hear it too.

He had stiffened almost instantly at her touch, but she couldn't consider that as a completely bad sign. He was a master assassin. He could've knocked her flat on her ass in a moment, but he stayed shock-still, save for the flare in his nostrils as he took a sharp breath.

They separated with a barely-there noise and Jyn could only hope that she didn't burn the rickety bridge that stood between them.

“Why did you do that?” Cassian asked. His voice was flat, but there was something there that was slightly wild and breathy, struggling to come to the surface.

Jyn couldn’t quite hide the wince from the question. It wasn’t exactly something she wanted to hear after kissing someone, but he at least wasn’t running from her like usual.

“It felt like the right thing to do.”

A blank gaze followed her words and she mentally reeled back, regretting that she had left the mess hall to find him.

Stupid fool, she thought. She had ruined everything.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“For what?”

“For avoiding you. Believe me, it was the last thing I wanted to do.”

The icy rock of fear melted a little in her chest.

“We should start again,” she murmured.

Cassian nodded and then asked, “Start from where?”

Jyn shrugged, “Well, starting with a kiss was a pretty good start.”

The tiny smile that bloomed on his face made her feel like maybe he hadn’t left all his possible affection he had for her on that elevator.

“I think you’re right.”

He didn't need to move too far to kiss her, this time pressing a little harder, breathing her in.

* * *

* * *

Later, with a kiss-drunk grin on her face, Jyn would think back to the icy feeling of fear and know it was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All feedback is appreciated!  
> Cheers!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt 3: Soldier

“There’s your problem, child. You wear your heart on your sleeve. You would rather protect than kill.”

Saw Guerra’s words echoed numbly in her head as the sounds of battle exploded around her. She coughed out a mouthful of dirt and spit, hands scrambling around on the ground.

How did she end up on the ground? Everything had gotten fuzzy for a moment.

“That is a mistake, child. The Empire would kill you faster than you could saving anything. You kill them first, worry about the rest later.”

While her younger self had taken the advice to heart, Jyn was never good with following directions, which lead her to shoving Cassian out of the way of an incoming mortar blast.

It was a split-second decision, driven by a primitive fear and possessiveness, but she knew in her heart he would’ve died if she hadn’t pushed him.

She just didn't get fully out of the way fast enough. Just her luck, but she couldn't be too upset about it.

Now, copper met with the taste of dirt in her mouth.

Then the pain filtered back in, mingling with the feeling of victory. She had cut her head, her left wrist twisted. Her ribs hurt.

Someone grabbed her jacket, dragging her forward and flipping her onto her stomach.

Smoke floated thick in the air, the remnant of the mortar fire. The Rebellion tried to avoid this kind of fight, for good reason. They just had the luck that the Empire was poorly staffed at this outpost and caught off-guard.

Her dizzy musings were interrupted when a face filled her vision, hovering over her.

It took her a moment to remember that it was Cassian. Cassian, face dotted with dirt and mud, a cut over his brow, expression marred by fear and anger.

She saved Cassian and he was still alive and not in pieces on the ground because of her. That was all that mattered, so she didn’t understand why he looked so upset.

“Why? Why did you do that?” he yelled, ducking close.

She smiled shakily. He always looked so handsome when there was battle in his eyes.

Jyn had never told him that. She didn't tell him a lot of things, like how she loved to listen to him talk or how she sometimes watched him while he trained with impure thoughts haunting her.

“Don’t be stupid,” she mumbled.

Silly Cassian. Why was he asking dumb questions while the battle was happening? She had essentially taken herself out of the fight, but if Cassian was alive that was what mattered.

He hissed something she couldn’t understand, before dragging her along to better shelter. Her vision went in and out the whole time, ears ringing. He spoke to her, though she couldn't fully hear him. The anger had faded in his eyes, replaced with something just as wild but softer.

She held that in her heart as sleep took her over.

When she awoke days later in the medbay, she smiled again when Cassian paced and ranted in front of her, demanding why she would throw herself into danger for her, as if he didn't already know the answer. Ranting about chain of command and following orders, incoherent to her and near spitting in his anger.

She had been given a private room so she supposed he didn't have to worry about scaring the doctors with his shouting.

If she hadn’t been drugged out of her mind, she would’ve shouted back, but she smiled and smiled, watching him. She loved listening to his voice. If she could listen to him talk until death took her, she would die happy.

“Why did you save me?” he asked. It sounded more like a demand, an accusation.

This was directly addressed to her, not useless ranting adjacent to her.

What a stupid question, though Jyn didn't say so. No, drugged-Jyn was less snappy and more sappy.

“Why wouldn’t I save you?” she asked, feeling suddenly very lucid. “Would you rather I let you die? You know I can’t let that happen.”

That seemed to bring him to a screeching halt, his mouth flapping open and closed.

She shook her head, closing her eyes. It was a pity that her eyelids felt so heavy. She wanted to keep looking at his unkempt hair and flushed face.

“You’re being ridiculous, Captain. Cassian. Andor.”

She heard him inhale loudly, then exhale with a loud hiss.

“I don’t want to save me if that means you’re hurt or die,” he announced.

Her eyes flew open, turning to him, the words cutting through the comfortable buzz of painkillers.

He really was going to be a hard-ass about it, treating himself like a faceless, nameless grunt, nothing more than cannon fodder. Would she have to get up and shake the man to get him to understand?

She would’ve crossed her arms over her chest if she didn't know what kind of pain would come from such a movement. “Well, I don’t want you to die, period, so we’re at an impasse.”

His image doubled and blurred, though the fight didn't fade from her mind as fast.

“Argue with the wall if you want. I’m tired,” she mumbled, eyes sliding shut.

Sleep found her before she could wish him goodbye or say anything else. In her dreams, she imagined his hands running over her hair, his lips pressing a kiss to her forehead, no regrets to be seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All feedback is appreciated!  
> Cheers!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt 4: Carry
> 
> TW: Pregnancy, read at your own risk

While fighting with the Partisans, Jyn saw child soldiers fight and die in the name of destroying the Empire. She was a child soldier too, but she had the privilege of growing old enough to experience life a little.

Children had their necessary roles with the Alliance, never on the front lines, but she knew that their childhoods were stolen.

She knew that if the future brought her a family, she would bring them into a world where there was no need for child soldiers or maintenance workers or messengers.

Future and children and things like that were thoughts to be had after the war, not during it.

She, of all people, didn't dare think of it. But, when her cycle lapsed for a month, creeping towards two months, she snuck into the medbay for a couple of those tiny plastic tests.

Creeping back into her quarters like someone who absolutely was hiding something, she locked herself in her tiny ‘fresher. It came back positive, again and again.

It should’ve been impossible, but then she remembered. She had gotten shot right where her birth control implant was during a recon mission gone bad. It had to be removed in surgery and she kept forgetting and forgetting to get it replaced.

She leaned heavily against the tiny sink in her quarters, knees weak.

She was pregnant. And of course, there was nobody who could be the father but Cassian. The captain, the spy.

With this piece of information, she didn't know what to do.

It did her no good that it was the beginning of the day and she wasn’t going to be seeing Cassian until the evening. Now, she could only hold this knowledge inside her until it was unbearable.

Jyn went to the target range, something she loved to do regardless of the day, but each press of the trigger brought a trill of fear and anxiety down her chest.

The only comfort she found in it was the routine of putting together and taking apart her blaster. She could do that with her eyes closed, a mindless action that at least gave her hands something to do other than shake uselessly by her sides.

She didn't see Cassian much during the rest of the day. He was busy with meetings and bureaucracy that she was glad to be spared from. They crossed paths briefly, not long enough that Cassian could see that something was wrong. She could at least shield him from the life-changing news for a little while. K2 eyed him like he could see right through her.

During supper in the mess, she didn't talk to the people sitting around her. Bodhi tried to get some conversation out of her, but she could only smile wanly and give one-word answers.

Her thoughts were consumed. Jyn didn't know how or even if she should tell Cassian.

She tried to justify it to herself. If she died before she could tell Cassian, then he would only have the carry the heartbreak of losing his partner. If he died before she could tell him, he would die without knowing that a piece of him could go on to live in a galaxy that would be consumed by war for an untold amount of time.

And then the more reasonable part of her screeched that of course she needed to tell him before she literally broke down from the stress of it.

She didn't even know if he had wanted a family.

Her food cold and unappetizing, Jyn stormed back to the barracks, chewing on her lip, flopping onto the bed that smelled like Cassian.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she sent a brief message to him, asking him to come to their room. Well, technically, it was _his_ room. Since he outranked her, he had the better barracks accommodation and she wasn’t going to live in a broom closet if she could help it.

The panic set in again.

How would she even begin to explain herself to him? Should she make a joke? Be entirely serious about it?

Her chin trembled.

No, she was just going to be teary until Cassian arrived.

“Jyn?”

She jumped a little, unable to fully turn towards the voice in the doorway.

“Cassian.”

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

The bed dipped as he sat down next to her.

“Something is wrong, isn’t it?”

She bit her lip, already feeling tears build up in her eyes.

“I—,” she cut off, sniffing a little.

His hand came up to touch her back. It should’ve been comforting, but she still jumped and flinched at the touch.

Immediately, the touch disappeared.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked, concern plain in his voice.

She turned to him, trying and failing to school her face to make Cassian worry a little less. It didn't work as the sorrowful expression on Cassian’s face broke her heart. She hiccupped, “Why do you think you did something wrong?”

Tears dribbled over her face and she quickly turned away, trying to hide it.

“You’ve been acting strangely. Bodhi had messaged me, worried about you. Even K2 had mentioned that you were acting strangely.”

She made a face. Of course, the droid had noticed. He had a profile on her and could tell when her behavior strayed from normal. She was surprised K2 didn’t find out and tell Cassian already.

“I guess I have been acting a bit weird lately.” She sucked in a breath and let it out. “I’m pregnant.”

Cassian stiffened instantly, his breath audibly hitching in his chest. Silent, painfully silent.

Jyn wiped her hands on her pants, mumbling, frantic. “We had never talked about it. I know this isn’t a good time. The war, everything. I just thought I’d let you know, while I had the chance.”

She cleared her throat, wiping her face with her hand.

“Please say something,” she pleaded.

The answer was a kiss pressed to the back of her neck.

“You’re pregnant.”

She nodded, huffing under her breath. “That’s what I said.”

His hands rubbed up and down her back now, in slow, tentative movements, like he was afraid of breaking her.

“We’re going to have a child?” His forehead pressed against her shoulder to punctuate the question. “This wasn’t the plan. I had thought, maybe in few years, after the war was over, we would have this conversation. You—you want it, right?”

A beat of hesitation. The war was still going on, and showing little sign of letting up. What sort of world would they be bringing a child into? “Yes.”

He sucked in a breath. “Okay, okay. We’re going to be okay.”

It sounded like he was reassuring himself more than he was to her.

“You’re scared,” she murmured.

He laughed. “I am. Are you?” She could hear the exhilarated smile on his face.

“Of course, I’m scared.”

He shook his head, tone turning sorrowful. “I’m sorry. I should’ve been there when you found out.”

“I don’t think that would’ve made me any less scared,” she sighed.

“I suppose. Who knows about this?”

She shrugged. “Maybe one of the nurses in the medbay, if they caught me sneaking the tests out, but I found out on my own, so I don't think anyone knows.”

For now, it was their secret. She could relish in that.

Cassian shifted closer, pressing himself against her back, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. He was warmth, comforting and surrounding her.

She closed her eyes and leaned into it, her heartbeat finally slowing a bit.

“What do you want to do?”

“What do you mean?”

She could feel him shrug against her. “I mean, where are we going to go from here?”

Jyn shrugged back. “I don't know. How do I contribute to the war effort if I’m pregnant? I can fight for now, but after that, I’m gonna be too big to go on missions.”

She glanced up at him when he went silent for a few moments. He looked like he was going to argue something, but thought against it. She could guess that he was about to insist she stop going into combat missions right now.

He was right to keep that to himself. She wasn’t going to stop fighting, for the Rebellion and now for the little symbol of the future that grew inside her.

“You’re a good strategist, Jyn. We will need you in the war room. You won’t be on the sidelines.”

She turned in his arms to look at his face. His eyes were shiny, but he still smiled down at her.

“We are going to be okay. I promise you that.”

Jyn pressed her face against his chest, hiding the fresh wave of tears that threatened to overwhelm her. “I thought we said we wouldn’t say stuff like that.”

“I’m taking back what I said,” Cassian murmured. “We are going to be okay. This war will end. We will have a family together and we won’t have to worry anymore.”

With their luck, the timing wouldn’t work well at all. She didn't want to think about her child living in a galaxy at war, but there was a chance they wouldn’t have a choice.

 “You promise?” she asked, regardless.

Cassian wasn’t one to make those kinds of statements. A spy didn't have that luxury, but he regarded her with a softness that he reserved for times when she was at her lowest.

“I promise.”

She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All feedback is appreciated!  
> Cheers!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt 5: Return

The words on his datapad blurred in his eyes as his mind wandered. It was the twelfth intelligence report he had read that day, and he had absorbed absolutely none of it. It wasn’t good for him to allow himself to be so absentminded; he could already imagine the kind of lecture he would get from Draven for it.

There was something more important on his mind. The war would go on if Cassian Andor allowed himself to have his human desire that dangled lightyears from him.

“Ghost Squad is making their approach to the base, Captain Andor.”

He was already halfway out the room before the technician could finish her sentence.

Jyn was back; that was all he needed to know.

It had been over four months since they had seen each other. Both of them had left for separate missions, sending them to opposite corners of the galaxy.

Cassian had returned first and he had a near-permanent spot in the comms tower just waiting for news.

Of course, he had arrived right as her team went dark, during the delicate time between mission execution and extraction.

The Empire would be looking for the team that blew up their weapons depot in broad daylight. They would scour any frequencies they could tap into for information and intercept the team as they tried to leave the planet.

The whole thing _should’ve_ been a quiet affair, as quiet as destroying an Imperial depot could possibly be. Jyn was a maverick, always looking forward to the missions that meant blowing things up.

Jyn had told him it was making up for the fact she wasn’t the one to deal the final blow to the Death Star. Sure, she was no Jedi, but she would’ve done it if she could.

It served to scare the hell out of him, every time she went off-script. It made her a target for the Empire, more than she already was, the injury adding to the insult of _Erso’s_ child running amok, fighting for the Rebellion.

He knew of the bounties on her head and had told her as much. She took it as a twisted compliment.

“If they hate me and want me dead, good. That means I’m doing my job,” she had said.

The determination made him fall in love with her all the more, but it still scared him. She was going to get shot at for the mere fact she was part of the Alliance; there was no need to add more reasons for her to get shot at.

This mission, he knew he didn't need to worry. In his heart, he knew she was alive. He didn't need an intelligence report to tell him that.

In the hanger, a nondescript starship powered down, technicians and onlookers milled closer to the doors.

Cassian waited on the outskirt of the crowd as the doors creaked open.

The first two people who hopped out wasn’t the one he wanted to see. It took a painful amount of time, though it was only a minute, before he saw her.

Seeing her always took his breath away. This time was no different.

A white bandage stood stark where it pasted over her brow. She was whole. She was alive. The knowledge of it swelled in his chest.

It felt like a crappy holo, the reunion of two separated lovers. He wanted to sprint forward across the hangar and collect her in his arms. Instead, he kept his approach just slow enough that it wouldn’t seem like he was rushing towards her. Jyn had seen him, but her attention was drawn to the cheers and the pats on her shoulder.

“Specialist Erso.”

She nodded, a smile pulling at her mouth. “Captain Andor.”

That was all they could get of each other for now. Their relationship was the worst-kept secret in the Rebellion but they made a pact not to show affection in public. If it kept their superiors from breathing down their necks about potential conflicts of interest during missions, then they would do it.

He trailed behind Jyn and her squadmates, loitered in the back of the war room as they recounted the mission and the intelligence brought back.

They were all but surgical with it, with the exception of the bombing on the weapons depot. That was full of Erso-flair.

Mothma gave her a look like she was going to lecture Jyn, but there was little bite to it. Cassian hid a smile of his own, watching Jyn explain her strategy and where she thought they should go from there in the region.

Those talks would be tabled for later and Cassian was glad for it.

He left just as the meeting broke, tracing a familiar path back towards the barracks. It took mere moments of him walking before he heard the tap-tap of footsteps.

He reached behind him and heard her footsteps get faster and closer before her hand closed over his.

“Lead the way,” she whispered.

They both knew exactly where they wanted to go.

“I missed you,” he breathed into her mouth as soon as the door closed behind them.

She nodded, grasping at his shoulders, down his chest.

“I missed you too.”

Stars, he felt like he was starving and was just offered a feast. Like he had been drowning and then brought back to the surface.

“What do you wanna do?” he asked.

They shuffled to the bed. Cassian sat down hard, Jyn climbing into his lap. Her fingers ran through his hair and over his beard.

Cassian’s hands couldn't stop moving over her, as if she would disappear if he stopped for a moment.

He whipped off her shirt, flinging it across the room. He covered her skin with kisses, tasting salt and sweet. His beard scoured her skin just enough to leave a light blush on her chest.

“I’ve thought about you every day since I last saw you.”

“And every night?”

He nodded, playing with her nipples under her bra. He got off to the thought of her many, many times in the time they were separated.

“And you?” he asked.

“Of course.” She sucked a mark into his collarbone the moment he shed his shirt. “I thought about that, too,” she murmured, soothing the sting with a kiss.

He bucked underneath her before plopping her on her back in the bed. He crawled up her body as she giggled.

“Well, hello there.”

“Hi,” Cassian murmured, pulling her pants off and leaving her naked underneath him.

He was painfully hard in his pants but he just wanted her.  He didn't even need to get off. Anything would’ve satisfied him.

So, he worshipped her with his hands and mouth. He drank in every moan and cry he could draw out of her.

When he slid into her, arms bracketing her head, it was perfect. It was embarrassingly quick for him, but he knew that they had some time to be together. Endearments spilled from his mouth as he came inside her.

“Stay, stay, stay,” he whispered.

He pressed his forehead against her collarbone as their breathing slowed.

She nodded, kissing his chin, his cheek, his forehead.

“Always, Cassian.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All feedback is appreciated!  
> Cheers!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt 6: Mirror

He found her hunched on her bed, eyes frozen forward on the datapad she cradled in her lap. The bluish light washed over her face. Her eyes were glossy, full of tears.

Cassian closed the distance between them, worried when she didn't even acknowledge his presence.

“Jyn?” he whispered.

He looked over her shoulder to see the picture that filled the screen. It was an intelligence report and he recognized the man pictured before he saw the name.

Grey hair and a shrewd, calculated gaze: Orson Krennic.

Memories came back in a wave. Krennic was on Eadu when Galen Erso died. He saw the man through his rifle’s sights, later realzing that maybe he should’ve focused on putting a shot in Krennic than Erso.

Cassian shot him on Scarif, to save Jyn. He had known who he was: Krennic, one of the Empire’s pampered dogs, obsessed with weapons. He was the puppet master behind the Death Star, more deserving of death than Galen Erso ever was.

He didn't know if he dealt the killing blow or if the Death Star had destroyed him, but he knew that Krennic was dead. A man like that wouldn’t disappear. After Scarif, there were no whispers, no mentions of him in intelligence.

 “What are you doing?” Cassian asked.

He immediately wished he hadn’t opened his mouth. Jyn winced like he had struck her. Her fingers were white on the datapad.

“The man with the white cape. He was there, when they killed my mother.” Her chest shook in a shaky inhale. “I watched in the grass. I shouldn’t have come down from the hills but I was afraid and I wanted my mother and father.”

Another shaky breath. Cassian could feel it as much as hear it. “And then he took my father from me. I had nothing. I was left with nothing”

Cassian looked away.

Eadu had been a disaster. Jyn found her father on his deathbed and it was the Rebellion’s fault, in a way. It was his fault, too. He told the Rebellion where they were going. He didn't pull the trigger on the sniper rifle, he didn't deal the killing blow, but he set up the dominoes to fall.

“I wish I had been the one to kill him,” she murmured. The datapad’s screen warped a little in her grip before she seemed to force herself to relax.

He reached out and smoothed his hand over her shoulder.

“I took that from you. I’m sorry.”

Jyn shook her head. “No. I’m glad he’s dead. Dead is dead, doesn’t matter who did it. The Death Star’s destruction killed his legacy, too.” She shrugged. “At least, I have that. And I have you.”

Finally, she looked over at Cassian, smiling sadly. “I’m sorry. I’m being selfish.”

“It’s okay,” Cassian insisted. “You should talk about it, or it’ll eat a hole through your heart.”

She didn't talk at all about her parents, not to him or anyone. It was something she kept close and hidden, a festering secret that pained her at every step. Everyone knew who her family was, bringing both respect and suspicion in equal parts. She was both redeemed by her parents’ bravery and tainted by her father’s acts as a scientist.

Jyn looked at him, over him, through him. He was like her in that way. He didn't talk about his family either. He had thrown a heavy-handed hint at her in anger, but they avoided that argument and he avoided bringing any of that up.

It was as good a time as any to talk about it now. She likely had read his file and what he was before the Rebellion. His story wasn’t particularly special; he just took the anger and sorrow from what had happened and turned it to something useful.

“When the Stormtroopers came to my village, they slaughtered my family,” Cassian began, “When I became part of the Rebellion and got the clearance, I searched and searched for intelligence on the squad that had come to Fest.”

Jyn nudged him, watching his face carefully. “And what had happened?”

Cassian shrugged, before leaning over to kiss her forehead.

“Couldn't find anything. The commander that oversaw the raid died months after he came to Fest.”

“And the troopers?”

He did track down the squad that killed his family and burned the barracks and the troopers inside it to ash. The Rebellion was on his case about it at the time, but a squad of dead Stormtroopers was a squad of dead Stormtroopers. It didn't change anything and it didn't make him feel any better. He wasn’t ashamed of it in the slightest, but he pushed down that memory and shrugged dismissively.

“I cared more about the superiors. I suppose my family wouldn’t be truly avenged until the Empire topples.”

A lie, but he would tell her the full story in time. It felt too heavy and ugly for that moment. Comforting Jyn was the main priority.

Jyn took his hand in hers, abandoning the datapad. She pressed her lips to his fingers.

“You know I’ll fight by your side ‘til the end,” she murmured.

The end of the war, the end of their lives, whichever came first.

She reached underneath her shirt and brought out her necklace. He didn't ask her about that either, so he grasped onto whatever information she would give him, file it away in the little space in his head he kept devoted to the woman who wormed her way into his life.

“My mother gave me this necklace right before she died. She died fighting. Every time I fight, I feel like she is by my side.”

She lifted up his hand, closing it around the root-shaped stone. He felt a strange sense of strength pass through him, but he knew it came from Jyn.

They were very alike, though when they first met it felt like there was a yawning chasm between them. When the dust had settled from the first mission, it was clear they filled up holes that had carved themselves into each other’s lives.

They weren’t quite the same, but, they were alike in all the ways that mattered.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All feedback is appreciated!  
> Cheers!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt 7: Proud
> 
> TW: mentions of childbirth, babies in general

“Keep saying that and I’m gonna strangle you.”

Jyn’s words lacked any malice, more a sing-song idea from a wildly tired mind.

Cassian blinked in confusion, his gentle bouncing movements stalling for a bit. “What, ‘I’m proud of you’?”

Jyn watched him from the medbay bed, finally alone with the two most important people in her life. It was almost _too_ quiet after all the noise that filled the room hours earlier.

“Yes, I know it was a big deal for me to squeeze out our child, but repeating it is getting a bit old.”

Cassian hummed, rocking a bit in place, before smiling wryly. “I’m talking to our daughter.”

“But what did she _do_?” Jyn grinned, taking the bite away from her words.

Liia was barely a day old, just above average in size, head covered in brown, wispy hair. She was purely perfect.

“Well, she was born. I’m proud of her for that.” He gently tapped his free hand against her stomach, gently tickling her. “So beautiful.”

She would be counted as one of the first post-war babies.

Jyn smiled, reaching out to the both of them. “Come here.”

Cassian sat down at her bedside, passing Liia to Jyn.

Neither of them had much experience with children; the Rebellion was never a child-friendly place. Databases and holos were all well and good, but there was no real way to prepare.

Liia was a solid, satisfying weight in her arms, though she was perpetually nervous that she’d drop her on accident. She was still exhausted from the ordeal. The recovery would be quick; she knew as much. Still, she allowed herself to relax a little.

The war had gone on up to the last trimester and she worked through it, fighting for their child's future. During the battle of Endor, she stayed glued to the communications tower in the Rebel base on Cordellia, hoping that the Rebellion would survive, the idea of victory the furthest thing from her mind.

“She’s quiet,” Cassian murmured, reaching out to stroke his finger over her cheek.

Her face wrinkled a little before she opened her mouth and _wailed_.

They both flinched at the sound.

“Oh no.”

Jyn winced. “I just fed her so it can’t be that.”

He plucked her out of her arms and rested her against his chest.

A couple pats on the back and then there was a tiny hiccup and an tiny mess of spit-up on Cassian’s back.

“Oops.” Cassian shrugged off his shirt, leaving him in an undershirt. “Well, that got her to stop crying.”

Liia was now entirely content, sleepy.

“I wonder what she will grow up to become,” Cassian muttered.

“An opera singer?”

They shared exhausted grins. “She will grow, that’s what matters. She could be whatever she wants.”

Cassian leaned over and pressed a kiss to Jyn’s mouth.

“I’m proud of you, too. I didn't do much, but you did everything.”

Jyn nodded, wiping off a few tears that suddenly cropped up.

“I’m just glad we’re all okay,” she croaked.

The war made this a living nightmare: between the anticipation of a child and the whole reality of their part in the Alliance.

Now that the tears started, they wouldn’t stop. It was a faucet, her mouth trembling and breath shaking. Cassian held her close, rubbing her back.

“You’re okay,” he murmured, like the hundreds of times he had comforted her before. “We’re okay. We have the entire future ahead of us, alright?”

She nodded, wiping her face with her free hand. “Sorry, hormones.”

He hummed, pressing kisses on her head. “I understand. You should sleep it off. When was the last time you slept?”

She sniffed wetly as she tried to remember the last time she slept. Maybe, there was a brief nap after the birth, but that was it.

“Okay, sleep sounds good.”

“How about I take our little one to the room over and let you sleep?”

She paused a moment before shaking her head. The thought of either of them not being at arm’s-length from her was an unacceptable state at this point.

“No, it’s fine. Liia can go in the bassinet and you can sleep with me?” she asked.

The new parents got a few hours’ sleep before Liia needed feeding again. After that, the welcome party spilled into the room, ready to welcome their newest addition to the family.

Bodhi was utterly terrified of accidentally dropping Liia. Chirrut and Baze held her like they had practiced for weeks to get it just right.

“Our niece is strong and full of wisdom,” Chirrut mused aloud.

Baze eyed Chirrut disbelievingly. “Our niece is small and squishy, that we know for sure.”

“She can be all four at once,” Cassian said, kissing Jyn’s hand.

“This child has a 99 percent chance of being a reckless troublemaker,” K2 intoned “I look forward to watching her grow and be proved correct.”

The humans in the room laughed at K2’s pseudo-aloofness. He had been extremely protective of Jyn in the duration of her pregnancy, though he would never admit it.

Jyn felt buoyant, surrounded by the people she loved. She cried enough the last month and the last week, but she wanted cry again.

Her parents had wanted her to be happy and safe. She could rest easy knowing that she had done exactly that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All feedback is appreciated!  
> Cheers!

**Author's Note:**

> Any and all feedback is appreciated!  
> Cheers!


End file.
